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So what is coaching, again?

07-May



  • ‘At the center of your being you have the answer: you know who you are and you know what you want’

    Lao Tzu




Since the launch of this website, quite a few of you have asked me about the differences between the coaching I do and other disciplines out there. Great question, so here goes!

 

As your coach, I will not advise you based on my own experience. I will not tell you how to feel, think or act differently. In this sense, I am not a mentor. It is your agenda – I leave my own at the door, and I listen. We have a conversation. Through my questions we go on a journey of awareness and learning, all centred on you, around where you are right now and where you want to be. And only in this aspect am I like a mentor: I will help you visualise your big picture and set great goals for yourself.

 

You can expect this from the coaching process: you will discover what you need without me telling you; you will learn about yourself from your self; you will act from your own insights and your own internal source of motivation and commitment. You own the entire process. Science shows that every single human brain is different from the rest, so what could be more impactful than making your own connections and coming up with your own insights and solutions? I see this again and again: we all know what is true for us and what we need to do next, although we are socialised into accepting external sources as dogma until we lose contact with our own compass. Who am I to tell you how to live your life? If you think about it, what could be more liberating?

 

As you can also see, what I do is not therapy. Your past is not the centre of attention in our sessions: we start where you are now; we clarify where you want to be and we plan how you will get there. Our focus is not on problems, but rather on what is real in you and on solutions. In my coaching, any pain you might be carrying is a doorway towards truth, towards accessing who you really are, and then acting from that powerful place. The idea is to live, to keep on walking, but from a place where all of you makes sense to you.

 

Throughout the coaching process, I help you design the path to your goals, we set deadlines together and I keep you accountable. However, you are autonomous and you are responsible for what you decide to do or not do, and I will definitely not micromanage you! I will cheer you along the way, much like a personal trainer would, never losing sight of your potential.

 

Finally, I really need to say this. You have access to all the information you could ever dream of out there, to solve every problem on this earth. There is an infinite number of ready-made solutions for every conundrum. Yet nothing beats the truth that you find inside, or the beauty of life unfolding in your own consciousness.

 

That is the coaching journey for me.

 

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